Falling in Love with What Is: The Practice of Contentment
For most of my life, contentment felt like a foreign word. I didn’t even know what it really meant, because I was too busy chasing the next thing or as I sometimes I put it, running on a hamster wheel. My days were filled with movement, but not presence. I couldn’t sit still. Silence felt uncomfortable. Always had to be doing something.
I didn’t realize that in my constant pursuit of “what’s next,” I was missing the only place life was actually happening: the present moment.
Meditation became the golden key that unlocked a new way of being for me. It showed me that contentment isn’t about having everything perfectly in place, it’s about meeting life as it is, right now, with openness. Through the practice of stillness, I began to discover the quiet joy and deep peace that had been waiting all along, beneath the noise.
Falling in Love with What Is: The Practice of Contentment
Contentment isn’t something we find “someday” when life finally falls into place, it’s something we cultivate right here, right now. As a meditation teacher, one of the first things I guide my students into is this practice: welcome everything, resist nothing. My mentor, Sarah McLean, would say this at the start of every meditation.
Her guidance allowed me to to learn to sit with what is, without needing it to change, which then allowed me to begin to settle in, settle down, and rest into a natural state of peace. Beyond the constant grasping of the mind, you can touch the stillness that is already within you. From this place, contentment blossoms.
One of the great gifts of meditation is awareness. This was the biggest takeaway for me when I started my meditation journey. I was rarely in the present moment yet didn’t have the awareness of that. Meditation helped me be aware of my inner landscape and the subtle habits of thought that shape my moods and perceptions.
When you notice your mind spinning in complaints, craving what you don’t have, or resisting what is, you have a choice. You can pause, redirect your attention, and nourish your mind with gratitude, presence, or compassion. There is power in that pause.
I like to talk about the science as this isn’t just philosophy, it’s biology. When you stop fueling discontent and shift into presence, your brain releases a natural “feel-good” cocktail of neurochemicals: endocannabinoids, serotonin, oxytocin, and more. Unlike the dopamine rollercoaster of chasing the next hit of “more,” this inner chemistry brings a steady sense of calm, safety, and belonging. It’s the “ahhh” of contentment.
Last weekend my husband and I were sitting on our back deck and he said “ahhhhh this is it, right here, right now, with you. Nothing more, nothing less.” That is the definition of contentment!! My heart exploded with so much joy in that moment as for a long time he was like…I will enjoy it when I get HERE- like he had to accomplish a timeline before he could find JOY or ENJOY the now. So many times, we feel like once we have arrived to a certain milestone, then we will feel the good! I now know the importance of enjoying the journey along the way, that’s where the magic and so does he!
The Journey Is the Destination
We all know the saying, “The journey is the destination.” But how do you journey?
There are really two ways to do anything:
stressed, distracted, and dissatisfied, or
mindful, engaged, and content.
Take a simple example: waking up in the morning. If the first thought is “I didn’t sleep enough, I don’t have enough time, there’s too much to do”, that sets the tone. But when you shift to gratitude, engaging your senses, you engage what scientists call the direct experience network, the mindfulness mode of the brain!!! Instead of starting with lack, you begin with fullness: noticing the morning light through the blinds, the stretch of your body, the birdsong outside your window. I personally go into a gratitude practice before my eyes even open while I am consciencely awake. I am grateful for my pillow, my husband, my house, the food I eat, my girls, my breath, my passion, friends, etc., you get the idea! I do this for at least 60 seconds EVERY SINGLE MORNING!
During the day you have a choice on how react. Imagine rushing late to a meeting. Complaints may bubble up of crazy drivers, not enough time, I’m frustrated with myself. Instead of fueling that resistance, you can take deep breaths at the stoplight, slow down your inner pace, and notice the world around you. You’ll still arrive at your destination, but how you travel makes all the difference. Do you want to arrive frazzled and complaining or calm and grateful?
Gratitude: The Gateway to Enoughness (not sure is that is a word or not)
Contentment doesn’t mean we stop growing or wishing for a better future. It simply means we meet the present moment with acceptance and love and gratitude is the doorway.
Gratitude shifts the mind from what’s missing to what’s present. From what’s wrong to what’s good. From craving to appreciating. It’s like finding the rainbow in the storm.
Try this right now: name five things you are grateful for, without changing a single thing in your life.
The breath in your lungs.
The food that nourished you today.
The beauty of the space you are in.
The gift of curiosity.
The simple ability to read these words.
Gratitude reveals the perfection of this moment, even if everything isn’t perfect.
When we fight against what’s here, we push against the very wisdom of life itself. The reality is simple: this moment, in all its beauty or disorder, is your life. The ordinary days, the messy seasons, even the moments of heartbreak, they all belong. They are threads in the fabric of your humanity. And here’s the paradox: by softening into them, rather than resisting, you step through the doorway to peace, joy, and awakening.
I love this quote by Gabby Bernstein “When you choose to see your obstacles as detours in the right direction, you can begin to find a deeper meaning and personal growth amidst the discomfort”. Again, you have a choice to as your perception becomes your reality!
How to practice?
Contentment is not passive, it for sure is a practice. It’s the daily invitation to stop struggling with “what is” and instead fall in love with it. Meditation for me opened up the world of contentment as I allowed myself to sit in the uncomfortable and welcomed it all.
So today, pause. Welcome everything. Resist nothing. Offer gratitude for the fullness already here. And in that presence, notice: you are enough, this moment is enough, life itself is enough.
That’s contentment.
I so appreciate you taking the time to read this! I am grateful for this moment with you! -
Jodi Stepanek, MPM, CMMI
Founder of Big Heart Meditation & Mindfulness
